with eyes like diamonds...
it's 1:35 in the morning. i cannot sleep. i'm seriously creeped out. i don't have the right words to say tonight, so i'll just leave it at this: there's something that rests at the edge of my consciousness, waiting, and it's always there and i cannot escape it. some days i'm alright; others i'm not. i feel so far away...where are you, where are you right now? because i need you here with me. i need all of you, just anyone, and i need especially my john with his arms around me. God what's going on -- why am i like this? i want to scream but i open my mouth and no sound comes out. i want to take my depakote and lose myself in sleep because it makes me forget everything. then again i don't, because when i awake in the morning it's still there, waiting.eyes so worn from crying.
a heart that grieves for hope lost.
hands outstretched for something to hold on to.
::if you see me falling down again, just leave me there to live. and if you hear me start to cry, don't listen, just pass me by. i'm not asking for advice. just please listen this time. you can't make this one right. just leave me here with God tonight.::
--december disillusion
please someone tell me i'm alright.