resilient
i said, "why?"she said, "because it makes me feel empty."
as if that could explain the entire thing.
there are these things of which i never speak. things of which no one knows and things with which i have lived for so long now but i hold them inside because i am too ashamed to say the words. i'm not protecting myself, only those around me; it's all in the past anyway and it's gone and here i am. but sometimes these things come back to haunt me when i'm not paying attention. at times i want more than anything to open my mouth and speak but who knows what would happen and who would i tell anyway? no one should have to bear such a thing.
no, it's mine to carry, and i am fairly agile. i can bend and not break. or i can break and take it with a smile.