october
we are what we pretend to be, as kurt vonnegut said, but what am i if i don't pretend to be anything? that's not the same as pretending to be nothing, it's just...not pretending. so what does that make me? or do i just not realize that i'm pretending...we talked also in developmental psych tonight about perception, and how a person's perception is his or her reality, and therefore, alternate realities exist. do i see myself differently than you do? i think so. how could i ever know though? only by your words and who ever knows if words are true or if they're merely spoken, and how can anything be true if it's all a matter of perception? (yet there is absolute truth and that in itself cannot be denied.)i am worried about you, jamie, and about you, claire, and i wish i knew how to help. i wish i had the words to say or hands large enough to span distances, maybe hands small enough to evade space all together. i wish i could change this for you.
and you billy -- i miss you; as always, i miss you.