maranatha
"looks like tonight the sky is heavy/ feels like the winds are gonna change/ beneath my feet, the Earth is ready/ i know it's time for Heaven's rain/ it's gonna rain // cause living water we desire/ to flood our hearts with holy fire // rain down, all around the world we're singing/ rain down, can you hear the Earth is singing/ rain down, my heart is dry but still i'm singing/ rain down, rain it down on me // back to the start, my heart is heavy/ feels like it's time to dream again/ i see the clouds, and yes i'm ready/ to dance upon, this barren land/ hope in my hands // do not shut, do not shut, do not shut, the heavens/ but open up, open up, open up, our hearts // give me strength to cross this water/ keep my heart upon your altar, rain down/ give me strength to cross this water/ keep my feet, don't let me falter, rain down // do not shut the heavens/ but open up our hearts, open up our hearts/ do not shut the heavens/ but open up our hearts, open up my heart"--delirious
this has been my fervent prayer lately, day in and day out. i was driving home from classes this evening and this song was playing on the radio. while waiting in traffic, i was praying, and thinking man God, today could be the day that you return for us. and it hurt my heart so much to think of that because i long so much for it. at times i have said, "come quickly, Lord," and yet at the same time have desired so many other things, a husband or a family or a degree. all good things, but in other words, that's like saying, "come quickly, Lord, but give me a little time before you do it." my dad was talking at the rally last night about the second coming of Christ and whether or not we're really anxiously awaiting that day -- in our heads, and in our hearts, and in our wills. if we truly desire the return of Jesus in those ways, we'll live in such a way that, as it says in the Bible, we'll speed His coming. everything is done in the light of eternity. lately i have longed for Jesus so much; i have wanted more than i can say to be able to speak to Him face to face and touch Him and see Him. faith is important and has it's part, but what we have here on earth can in no way be compared to what we will someday behold. i'm not saying that there is nothing in this life that makes me happy -- on the contrary, there are so many things. but not a single thing can fill that longing in my heart. sometimes waiting is so hard.
but, i know that the time we have left before the return of Jesus is a time of grace given that more people may be won for Him. that more souls may come to a knowledge of the awesome love of God. living with that in mind is another way to live with eternity on your heart. someday this waiting will end and all that i dream of will be reality. in the meantime, i continue to pray, "do not shut the heavens, but O God open up my heart."
i love you all, dear friends!