and with one last breath....
i want to die.i can't stay here anymore. there's nothing in me that can make sense out of anything, it's all so overwhelming. i can't stand to live. can't stand to endure this gray sky for five more minutes. i want to sit out in the freezing cold and let my fingers rot, watch my vision as it fades away because you make it hurt to see. you make me hurt, you MAKE ME HURT. and i freakin hate you, i hate you hate you HATE YOU and i wouldn't miss you if i never saw your face again. never never never...
you make me hurt so much.
i told the therapist that i hate to be in a large crowd, but i hate even more to be alone. because when i'm alone, you always seem to be there. and i'm not safe, not with you around. you pull the hurt out of my mouth slowly slowly and laugh as i gag on it, laugh as i cry out. you make me overwhelmed. you used to make me want to cry, you used to make me want to scream and break things, you used to make me want to sleep, you used to make me want to cut. now you only make me want to die.
i'd do away with you if i could. if only i could... but you have no name in my head and i don't even know who it is you are.
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"i believe in happiness and in love that never fails but the longer i wait here the more they just seem like a fairy tale." -- brandtson