if seeing is believing... then i see
sometimes, turning, i see you. even if it's in the way i'm watching my father grow older -- because i know he's one day closer to you.and i see you, in holding hands and written words spilling across pages, in rain and in fierce winds when i can hardly walk, umbrellas blown inside out and these wide open fields, in crowds that make me cringe in grace's smile in stars that find their way home to my heart.
and i find you, when i awake unable to breathe and stumble through another day, knowing that tears i cry in water and in blood are collected in your hands; i hear the words to a song i've heard already so many times or my mum's laugh or john's voice. and i find you there.
so every time in puppies and daisies and sunsets oceans christmas lights and in french fries and campfires and rainbows Brandtson waterfalls ducks and forehead-kisses and television late at night and family best friends road trips thunderstorms, and always in the words "i love you," whispered or shouted out...i see you.
alas, my heart is cold. who am i to ask you to bring it back to life? but i do, and i am, because if i dare to look, maybe i'll still find you there.
:."Jesus, i love you// Jesus, i adore you// Jesus, You still have my affection...".: