and dreams really do (come true)
my mum and dad got me a puppy as an early christmas present. she's the most beautiful dog, so sweet and she always wants company, always wants someone around, the way i feel sometimes. her name is daisy. =) she sleeps on the floor next to me at night and just the thought of her makes me feel a little better. i see her sometimes and realize that she's really mine to keep; i've wanted a dog for so long, so many years, and now that i have one it doesn't seem real.... but she's lovely and i think i'll spoil her rotten, even if john laughs at me for babying her. =)i sneak her popcorn to eat when no one's looking, and tuck her in at night. i know, i'm pathetic.so i've been feeling a little better. i've taken my medicine for the past...3 days now? and i felt alright for a change, the past few days, but i'm settling back into normal now, back past the difference and into reality.
even my puppy looks sad to me. my dad said it's because i'm seeing the world through sad eyes. and maybe i am. what is it to taste joy so complete and full that you smile at nothing and sing in the shower? i wish i could remember; i think i used to know.
2 more days of school, 3 more finals, and then it's christmas break. i've got a wonderful family, awesome friends, the most amazing boyfriend, and the puppy i've always wanted. i've got everything, really. and yet God i feel so far. feel like i'm falling so fast while fading so slowly. and i need You to hold me. just need you to hold me.
i'm still here.