kiss away your worries
i'm having another bout with insomnia. i wish someone were around; i'm almost scared to be alone. i tried sleeping awhile ago, turned out the lights and laid in bed staring out the window. but it's too dark out and i feel uneasy.i feel like cutting but i already tried that once tonight and it's no good. i just don't care enough. i wish someone could understand what it is that i'm going through here....
nothing seems worth it anymore. i feel more, now than ever, that i'm fading. i can't see tomorrow and when i think about it, it all seems gray. i don't want to wake up and face it again, yet i can't sleep. and it's too much. it's all too much. i cry more than ever lately; even right now i feel my eyes on the verge of tears.... nothing feels right. and i wish you were here. you, whoever you are. i just need someone. anybody please.
i wish i were good enough. not perfect, just good enough. you know in peter pan, where all the kids get sprayed with pixie dust and if they think of happy thoughts (any happy little thing), then they can fly. i wish that were me, although i'm not sure where i'd go if i COULD fly. but then again, i have no happy little thought, so maybe i wouldn't be able to fly anyway.
for christmas i'd like a box of hope, please. and maybe a puppy to go with it.