she held my hand
my throat is as sore as a rat's bum.i went to the dentist early this morning to have some cavities filled. and in the process of having those cavities filled, the tooth clamp broke and fell down my throat. so i had a ring of metal stuck in my esophagus. when the dentist realized what happened (and also realized that i couldn't breathe and was choking) he rushed me to the emergency room at the hospital down the street. the entire thing was absurd. i sat in the emergency room for hours, hooked up to IVs and wheezing for breath. my chest was filled with shooting pains every time i breathed. my heart rate was going up so high that my entire body was cramping and the nurse was sure that i was about to pass out. finally at some point hours later, they knocked me out with some anesthesia and did some surgery to remove the clamp. now is that crazy, or what. the dentist said that in his years and years of being a dentist, that's never once happened. count on me to be there first. so now i'm clamp-less and, except for an extremely sore throat and chest, fine.
the worst part about it was having to wear one of those tiny hospital gowns. the edge of my left arm is filled with cuts, fresh from last night. i hate myself so much for that. and i hated myself even more when every single doctor and nurse asked what had happened, when my mum and dad looked at my arm in shock and then disappointment and then sadness. it had to happen like that, didn't it? i just HAD to cut last night and this morning i just HAD to swallow a dang tooth clamp so that i just HAD to end up in the ER wearing a hospital gown that would show the cuts.
it's kind of funny, if you think about it. makes me laugh now... the dentist told me that in school they had been told to tie a string around the tooth clamp in case it broke, but he had stopped doing it after a few years because the clamp had never broke. i bet you anything that he'll tie a string onto those tooth clamps from now on. haha yeah...that was my day.
blair aucoin is a complete angel. i love her so much.
"...crying people crying people who don't start crying people who don't stop crying...'i feel for you' then get me out of here who am i where are we and where's home can i go there will i be here forever no but how do you know i know nothing anymore..."