this is what's right
::it's everything that i have to beat bridges much stronger and wide. fewer and farther between we meet again. i'll try to do well on my own. distance between's never been this far. i realize that this time was something that i always knew, only a fool wouldn't see. might as well start my drinking days now if i'm really alone... it's tempting. am i asking too much to keep you at arms length? am i asking too much to keep you at home? please don't go. and i know it's all gonna be fine, and i know this is what's right. please don't go...please don't go.::--the getupkids
(the get up kids are sheer geniuses, if you haven't already noticed.)
i feel so out of place here, so lonely in spite of myself.
school is almost over for the semester! we have two more days of classes and then a few days off and then a few days of finals. three finals for me and then i'm finished...and recently i just transferred from university to blinn so that i can go to nursing school there. it's a relief, to have all of that finished, and i'm hoping that maybe going to nursing school will be like a new start, where no one knows me and i have a second chance at a first impression, where i can maybe even make some friends. i guess we'll see how that goes...
on the other hand there's turtle, who came home from the park the other day with a cut nose and a swollen lip. turns out that he had been at the park praying -- he does that most days after he gets home from school -- when some guy got out of a pickup truck, asked him if he had a cigarette, and then punched him in the face. then the dude gets back in the pickup which had a bunch of other guys in it and drives off. what a suckah! beating on my brother like that. and the guy i think was in college but was a little smaller than turtle; of course turtle wouldn't hit him back, he's too nice and probably also a little stunned at the time. but when he came home with his face looking like that, my dad was so angry; he called the police and then he told john to come with him and the two of them went out looking for those guys. dude i'd feel sorry for them if my dad and john got to them. but they didn't, and probably the guys will never be caught, AND turtle is alright, just a little shaken by the incident. there's a little friday night excitment for you though.
claire is back from the hospital and i'm so relieved, but i'm worried more than ever about her. i want more than anything to help her out although i know it's not my place to save her....
my dad for some reason is afraid that i'm going to become an alcoholic, which i have absolutely no intention of doing. i do drink a little, sometimes i'll have a beer or a glass of wine, but i don't even get drunk for goodness sake. he said something about my being prone to addictions, which i probably am. i wouldn't be surprised if that's true. but alcohol is just one thing that i'm determined not to mess up with.
how long can this last and what is it that we're asking of each other? please don't go....don't go.