tell me so
last night was one of those nights where i just didn't want to talk to God. my conscience was sort of poking me and i knew that i needed to get with God and give certain things up to Him, but at the same time, i felt afraid to do so. worn out from wrestling with the same issues over and over, feeling that i had disappointed myself and so many other people, and most of all God. that in itself is in some weird way a form of pride, and it took awhile but finally out of tears and frustration and flat-out fatigue, i spent some time praying. for most things i didn't have words, and it was just me and God sitting there and all i could really do was cry. there's a comfort there in knowing that God knows your heart and feelings better than you know them yourself. fast forward to this morning.... turtle was listening to some keith green music while he was cleaning his room, and it was sort of floating in here from over there. i have to say this about keith green: even though his music is pretty old, and even though you sometimes have to laugh at the 70's-quality of it, his songs are so powerful -- he was not just a musician, but also definitely a prophet of God. anyway i'll stop obsessing with keith green, but the song turtle was playing this morning was so touching to me... exactly the words God wanted me to hear:My son, My son, why are you striving
You can't add one thing to what's been done for you
I did it all while I was dying
Rest in your faith, my peace will come to you.
For when I hear the praises start, I want to rain upon you
Blessings that will fill your heart, I see no stain upon you
Because you are My child and know me, to Me you're only holy
Nothing that you've done remains, only what you do for Me...
My precious bride, the day is nearing
When I'll take you in My arms and hold you
I know there are so many things that you've been hearing
But you just hold on to what I have told you.
--keith green
i think that says it better than anything else i could write. it reminds me that i'm not a disappointment to God -- in His eyes, i'm already made perfect in Jesus, and nothing else i do will change that. praise God for His awesome grace...
i love you guys!