you never said hello
You misunderstand me. I know you don't think you do and maybe you're trying to do just the opposite but it doesn't matter. I want to come home to someone, I want to fall asleep in that same person's arms. Because you misunderstand me. And you take my silence for depression (which it sometimes is, but don't just assume it like I know you do) when it's not at all.I can see me the way you're seeing me right now and I hate it. I can't stand what you see of me. I want to be something more to you and yet I never will. Nobody said you had to care and obviously you don't. I move in and out of crowds, silent, and I hear things simply because sometimes I actually shut up and listen. I see more of you than you think I do. Man there's honestly more to me than my wristfuls of bracelets and tangle of necklaces, more there than the bar through my eyebrow or my skate boy sneakers and baggy pants. My silence speaks and I'm somebody. Don't tell me who I am. Don't even freakin' tell me who I'm not. I dream and love and move and think and apply myself like any other person does. At least I'm real with myself. It's more than I can say for some people.
I miss the feeling of looking into the eyes of someone who really knows me and finding myself there. I can't stand the anger in your voice now. You see me as a depressed anti-social punk rocker freak who doesn't give a care, just like any other rebellious kid. See me, please just see me, when you look at me. Because you don't know and that's all I want.....is to be known.
John I miss your comfort. Beth I miss your understanding. Turtle I miss you companionship. Ry I miss your craziness and Roxy I miss your sweet heart and Trish I miss our talks and K I miss you altogether. Jo I miss seeing you when I wake up every morning. And nothing ever translates through the telephone. I just called to say I'm not sure when I'll be home.
If this all sounds angry....well you know what I always say -- I don't get angry.
I love you all so very much.
*Bex