she doesn't want to be dead in the water, yet she swims out to sea
it's getting so hard to try.here i am, reaching out my hands to you because i love you and i mean it when i say that. because i care and i'd do anything, i'd turn myself inside out, just to be there for you. because i need some connection, i thought you were it, and yet here i go again drifting. feels more like drowning. you turn your pretty face away; do you even care that I CARE ABOUT YOU. i'm not so sure, not so certain anymore. my words burn marks into silence.
and my heart holds no pain toward you. it's not intentional. simply that you don't understand how sometimes you're my lifeline. and i'm fading within myself, i'm not even sure anymore that you could reach me if you were trying... but at least then i'd know you're trying.
i don't know who i'm writing to anymore... perhaps the entire freakin' world for goodness sake. because that's my heart and yet it's never big enough. never able to hold all the feelings and so i kill it. don't let it surprise you when you see the numbness in my eyes.
i love you. i always will.