how do i find her/bearing my heart in my hand?
fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig fat pig(i'm having a bit of a complex.)
now that that's out of my system... i'm feeling slightly stressed, too much to do in too little time. and that appointment with the psychiatrist getting ever closer and closer. deep breath. it'll be ok.
today in church we were praying for the persecuted church, since it's the national day of prayer for the persecuted church. but kunle from africa and jien from china and another dude from south america were all getting up and talking about things they had seen first hand or things that were happening in the countries where they were born. stories that made your stomach clench, people being burned and murdered and tortured, raped and hunted down for their faith. meeting in underground churches where they prayed as they trembled in fear of being caught. one woman was 8 months pregnant when soldiers slit her husband's throat before her eyes. mothers losing children losing father losing brothers and sons and daughters all because they dare to fear the Lord more than man.
and i think i have it hard?
i'm not belittling anyone's troubles. it's just that sometimes we don't know how good we've got it here, and in light of such things my own complacency/self-pity makes me sick.
"Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail. When all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew you had better things waiting for you in eternity." (Hebrews 11:32-34)
love always
*bex