she cried so long her tears ran dry
::she hangs around the boulevard/ she's a local girl with local scars/ she got home late, she got home late/ she drank so hard the bottle ached/ and she tried, and she tried/ and she tried, and she tried/ but nothing's clear in a bar full of flies/ so she takes and she takes/ she takes and she takes/ she understands when she gives it awayshe says "Man I've gotta get out of this town/ man I've gotta get out of this pain/ man I've gotta get out of this town/ out of this town and out of LA."
she's so ashamed, she's so ashamed/ she knows heaven don't want her anyway/ she left a note by the phone:/ "Don't leave a message 'cause this ain't no home"/ and she cried, and she cried/ and she cried, and she cried/ she cried so long her tears ran dry/ and she laughed, and she laughed/ she laughed and she laughed/ cause she knew, knew she was never coming back
she said "Man I'm gonna get out of this town/ man I'm gonna get out of this pain/ man I'm gonna get out of this town/ out of this town and out of LA."
it's all she loves/ it's all she hates/ it's all too much for her to take/ she can't be sure just where it ends/ or where the good life begins
so she took a train, she took a train/ to a little old town without a name/ she met a man, he took her in/ but fed her all the same bullshit again/ cause he lied and he lied/ and he lied and he lied/ he lied like a salesman selling flies/ so she screamed and she screamed/ and she screamed and she screamed/ it's a different place but the same old thing
it's all I love/ it's all I hate/ it's all too much for me to take/ I can't be sure where it begins/ or if the good life lies within
so she said, "Man I've gotta get out of this town/ now I've gotta get back on that train/ man I've gotta get out of this town/ i'm out of my pain, so I'm going back to LA/ back to LA/ back to LA/ I'm going back to LA/ I'm going back to LA."::
--beth hart
*****
one time, a few years ago, i was driving to swim practice early in the morning, the streets around me still dark, the radio turned up loud to keep me from dozing off. and the LA Song was playing on the radio, those same words echoing through my head over and over: man, i've gotta get out of this town... that was such a long time ago but the thought's stayed with me; it lingers there, and the urge is overwhelming -- i've gotta get out.
then again, this song is a story. and in the end, the girl doesn't find happiness when she finally gets outta LA. she gets on that train but eventually she realizes that everywhere is the same as everywhere else. i wonder if that's what i'll find out someday. i wonder if this will ever be "home" to me. maybe i just wonder if i'll ever have the chance to get outta here in the first place. such an endless conflict of emotions....
i love every one of you so very much.
xoxo