this is overrated
today has seemed to stretch on forever. i feel so sad...everything seems to have lost its color. i'm tired of trying to make ends meet when i can't even find them in the first place. and the days creep on, one by one, all the same, always struggling through the battles that rage within. sometimes it just gets you down, you know?my therapist forgot about me yesterday. i always meet with her on tuesdays at 1:00; we've been doing that for about 8 months now. never once have i forgotten. but she forgot. she forgot, and this is her job we're talking about here! i sat in the waiting room until 1:20, then finally gave up on her and went home. i expected a call to come later in the day, saying that maybe some emergency had come up, or indeed she had just forgotten and felt terribly sorry, but no call came. today -- no call came. so it makes me wonder, whether or not she really cares about me like she says she does. what am i to her really -- a person, or just another client who shells out the big bucks? because if she can't even realize that tuesday is our day and if she can't even think to herself "hasn't it been awhile since i've talked with becky?" then how much does she really care? i'm not angry, it just puts me off slightly. just hurts a little. and it matters all the more to me because i really needed to talk to her yesterday.
i don't really care.
i'm worn out, i have no depakote, and i feel somewhat abandoned.